mel⋅an⋅chol⋅y

[mel-uh n-kol-ee]

- noun, plural -chol⋅ies
1. a gloomy state of mind, esp. when habitual or prolonged; depression.
2. sober thoughtfulness; pensiveness.

- adjective
1. affected with, characteraized by, or shwoing melancholy; mournful; depressed: a melancholy mood.
2. causing melancholy or sadness; saddening: a melancholy occasion.

- ~ - ~ - ~ - - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ -

Whoever said that you shouldn't make big decisions after dark was right. It's cold, and dark, and when faced with something sort of unexpected and on the bummer side of life, it feels like the sun may never come back from the other side of the world, to once again light the day. I'm in the most bizarre state of mind at the moment.

Act 1. Midday, I heard the most amazing bit of news from friends, and was floating along on cloud nine, simply euphoric over our shared good fortune. Tomorrow, I will drive to the airport and there I will pick up these friends who are traveling 1,756 miles across the country to spend their vacation with me. (Conveniently, I live in a highly desirable vacation destination!) I remember when they called to tell me they bought plane tickets, I was ecstatic. Today, to add the most delicious, fluffy, sweet, thick icing on the cake, they called to tell me that a business contact of theirs was sending us - all of us - to D*sneyland. Now you know why I was flying high. Even for a native Californian like myself, this is a delightful treat!

Act 2. I go to work, as scheduled, this afternoon, to find out that this particular job, one of several part time jobs I have, has ended. Yes, it was contract work, so it was on an as-needed basis. No, there were no long term commitments. Yes, this stinks. Yes, this is the third job I've been involuntarily separated from in two years. Yes, for the third time, I was told how terrific I am and that there was no other choice. At first... well, it was OK. Easy come, easy go. But now, my gut has rebelled and there is a gigantic knot of stress in the pit of my stomach.

Act 3. It's cold outside. And dark. And my practical self is arguing with my emotional self:
Practical self: "No, really, the sun always comes up, and it brings with it light and warmth and the opportunity of a beautiful new day. Seriously, it will start to get light in about seven hours, and a few hours after that you're going to forget how dismal life seemed."
Emotional self: "Blegh. Whatever."
Practical self: "Is your glass always half empty?"
Emotional self: "Is your glass always so cheerfully half full? Remind me again why we have to be an optimist?"

Act 4. (I know by now you are thinking this is the part where the nice people with the white jacket are going to calmly enter the scene and there will be an unexplained long pause from blogging, but....) Practical self wins the argument. Emotional self is too darn tired to think about this any more tonight. Conveniently, by the time tomorrow begins, practical self will have been proven right, and will be basking in the sunshine of another new day.

This week in the chronological Bible reading plan is the book of Job, where I read this on Sunday:
"The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised." - Job 1:21
With that, I breathe a prayer of praise... and go to bed.

--
Originally posted at: http://rebeccasmiscellanies.blogspot.com/