New Best Friend

I mentioned a couple weeks ago that I'd ordered the GMAT study guide so I could begin preparing for the test this spring. What I didn't fully appreciate until I held my very own copy of the book was how BIG it is. The book is nearly 8.5 by 11 inches and a whopping 832 pages. I think the only other books of that size in my library are my trusty Webster's dictionary and a few Bible reference books.

So, I think that the study guide and I are going to become good friends, the kind that spend a lot of quality time together. Alone. With caffeine. Suddenly, I'm remembering with fondness all those quiet study evenings on the 5th floor of the Calvin library. Although, if I recall correctly, coffee may not have been allowed in the library, and if it was, it was definitely not Starbucks. Beth, are you available to drag my procrastinating self to the library?

But what's nagging at me right now is that I am having a hard time getting started. I'm still struggling to actually take steps towards what I want. I'm second-guessing my chosen future path, and I don't think it's because it's the wrong thing. I think it's because I'm freaked out and scared I won't succeed. I hate that about myself. Why can't I be one of those self-confident people for whom fear never even slows them down when they decide to put 110% into going after what they want?

OK, so despite my current lack of forward motion, I will be attending an information session at San Diego State on Saturday morning, and surely that is a step in the right direction. Meanwhile, the only thing competing for my attention this evening is the newest episode of Survivor, so I should be able to spend some quality time with the GMAT book.